She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
