i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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