elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
