Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
