I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize