yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
