...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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