You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
