from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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