She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
