Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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