id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
