Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
