Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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