the condom got lost in my hair
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
My ATM looks so different sober.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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