I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
