And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
