When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
