you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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