all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
