shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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