I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
