fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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