You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
