I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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