I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
