you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize