He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
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And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
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One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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