Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
