I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
