just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
wow bdsm is so cute
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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