You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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