also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
