You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
