babies were throwing up all over the place
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
