Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
