i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
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