I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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