Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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