READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Enjoy the penises
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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