Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
This is my gift to your gina
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
