So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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