I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
