I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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