I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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