I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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