no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Randomize
