they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
