paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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