what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
