PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
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when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
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I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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