Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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