yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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