You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
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