seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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