im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
