I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize