fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
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White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
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He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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