I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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