The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
