I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize