We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
