Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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